My Sister's Story

Since I have started the blog I wanted to really dive deep into my sister's addiction and how it all began.  But that is hard to do when writing a blog. Also I am not the right person to tell my sister's story.  So here is a recounting of my sister's addiction and her road to recovery.  

Are You Really Listening?

Are you really listening?

When my sister was struggling with her addiction, I never truly listened to her. I would let her speak but never put much weight on her words. Because what does an addict have to say that is worth something? I wanted her to listen to me. I was the healthy one in the right frame of mind! If she just listened to me I could FIX her up in no time.

If I listened maybe I would have heard what she was saying. That there was nothing I could fix. Maybe if I was really listening I would have known. Instead, I was caught up searching for a answer to my problem: my sister's addiction.

I ask you to give it a try. Just listen. Don't speak, don't try and answer their questions. Just let them know you care by lending them an ear. They may shout at you, cry, or speak very plainly.  However they do speak just sit there and really listen.

Don't Leave

After I found out my sister was addicted to dieting and saw anorexia take its toll on her over the years; I abandoned her.  I couldn't stand to see the sight of a ghost where my sister once stood.  So after seeing my sister fail trying to recover over and over, I gave up hope that she would ever get better and I thought pushing her away would make the pain I felt go away.  

My younger sister, Abbey, on the left with my older sister Elizabeth.

At her worst, my older sister, Liz was 75 pounds.  I saw my beautiful sister turn into someone I didn't recognize and I couldn't handle the pain I felt so I cut her off from my life completely.  Every time I did see her at family events I would avoid making eye contact because I was scared she would see everything I was hiding behind my cold demeanor. 

It took me three years to get over my pride. I finally came to the end of myself and talked to her about how I really felt about her addiction.  I hope no one takes the path I took because no matter how far someone goes, the addiction they suffer from is not that person.  They can recover and they can come back stronger than before.  Having loved ones there to help when suffering from addiction can be just what an addict needs to recover.  I'm not saying you should condone their actions, on the contrary to show them that no matter what they have done wrong there is still someone there who loves them.  Someone who will be there for them even when they are wrong and when they hit rock bottom.    

My sister and I at a wedding.